Boys have a particular problem with seeing things through. Girls are more persistent, dogged, and dutiful about doing things they have been asked to do, even if they find the task boring. They seem to be able to wait longer for a reward. Boys become bored more easily, and are less inclined to put up with poor-quality teaching or coaching that does not provide variety and stimulation.

Perseverance – or ‘stickability’ – is important. The best-laid plans can come to nothing without it. The motivation may be strong, and the target may be clear, but if a boy doesn’t have the stamina to stay the course when he comes up against an obstacle, the work he has already invested may be wasted.

If you are a parent:

* If he gets stuck, don’t belittle or hand him the answers, but lead him so that he can find them himself and gain confidence to try next time; then back off
* When he shows signs of flagging, take an interest in him and ask him to read to you, show you what he’s done, or tell you what he has enjoyed and found difficult
* If you use rewards, offer small short-term ones, not a big one a long time away in the future
* Ensure that targets are reachable in his eyes, and that he makes a feasible plan

If you are a teacher:

* Boys need work, and rewards, delivered in short, sharp chunks; keep all targets in clear view, with clear routes to each one, so that their interest does not wane
* If a student gets stuck or loses interest in a project, jointly prepare a plan of re-engagement
* Delay work that requires deeper concentration until later in the lesson, when the boys’ interest has been sharpened
* Introduce variety into lessons and divide them into defined phases; include hands-on activities, quizzes and regular summaries of what’s been achieved in each phase

Boys may give up easily because they lack confidence. If you recognize this pattern, build up their self-belief at every opportunity.

Related posts:

1. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Promote Self-Direction

2. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Offer Him Opportunities to Test Himself

3. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Support and Encourage, Don’t Control and Push

4. The Basics of Encouraging Self-Assessment: How to Parent Your Boys

5. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Offer Him Safety, Security and Predictability

6. The Basics of Avoid Shame and Guilt When Parenting Your Boys

7. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Inspect Your Expectations

8. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Independence Without Abandonment

9. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Work to and From His Strengths

10. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Teach Coping and Survival Skills