Dialogue is the open give and take of information, ideas, and even dreams. When people are truly in dialogue, they understand each other. However, much talk that goes on between people is monologue disguised as dialogue. Those involved are so preoccupied with what they want to say that they do not really listen to each other.

Monologic conversation is expressed in four ways: when thoughts are pointedly expressed without consideration for the other person, when each talks without purpose except to make some kind of impression, when each considers his own opinions to be right and the other person’s opinions to be doubtful, when each talks about his own experiences without caring about the other.

In monologue, people talk past each other instead of to each other. Instead of actually listening, they are planning what they are going to say when the other person stops talking or they are planning how to avoid another encounter.

In contrast, people who are in a genuine dialogic relationship with each other have a sense of “we.” This may be temporary or continuing. When it exists, each feels open to the other and honestly connected. This is ideal for a parent-child relationship and inner Parent to inner Child conversation. Each is truly willing to listen to the other and share information as well as hopes and dreams. It also is an achievable ideal for an inner Parent and inner Child relationship. In the process of self-reparenting a new Parent can be created with the genuine dialogic ability to listen with love.

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