Sex, alcohol and, increasingly, drugs in every form are inevitable features of growing up for our sons. These topics should not be allowed to become no-go areas in your family. Although boys need their private space as they enter their teens and will defend this (sometimes aggressively) against parental intrusion and, although it’s hard to hit the right note and avoid sounding uncomfortable, it is important to keep talking. Communication must be maintained in case serious problems arise.

If you are a parent:

* At home, talk openly and comfortably about sex in general conversation, so the subject is not alien
* If talking about sex, alcohol and drugs is difficult, give your son something to read; many leaflets/books are available about safe sex, drinking and drug-taking; your local health centre will help
* Be quietly vigilant; inform yourself and watch out for signs of the inappropriate use (too much or at the wrong time) of drugs or alcohol
* If you begin a new relationship during your son’s puberty, be aware that he will find the sexual side of it very difficult; be discreet, don’t compete

If you are a teacher:

* Most primary/secondary schools have sex and drugs education programs within an increasingly coherent PSHE curriculum; a staff member with the right professional and personal skills and knowledge should give this a high profile
* High self-esteem and good social/communication skills are the best defenses against premature sexual activity, early pregnancy and drug involvement; all teaching should reflect this
* PSHE teachers should possess excellent group-work skills to enable all students to participate comfortably and confidently in sex and drug education, and should also treat the subject seriously

Boys have a tendency to boast, exaggerate and fabricate to gain status and attention. When friends begin to boast, a boy will feel under pressure to claim that he, too, has ‘been there and done that’. But the reality is that he will almost certainly experiment. By the age of fourteen, one in three boys will have tried drugs. Telling a boy not to do something when peer pressure is strong may not have much impact, but suggesting that he remain in control of and true to himself by doing things only when he feels it’s right may give him that ounce of extra courage to say no and stand up for himself.

Related posts:

1. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Enter His World Carefully

2. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Deal Positively With Peer Pressure

3. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Let Him Impress You

4. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Offer Choices

5. The Basics of Encouraging Self-Management: How to Parent Your Boys

6. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Boys Do Best When an Involved Man Cares

7. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Nurture His Social Skills

8. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Minimize Conflicts At Home

9. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Promote Self-Direction

10. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Respect His Right to Know