The best thing a father or father figure can do for the children in his care is to show love and respect for their mother. This reinforces her authority, strengthens the children’s respect for her, and makes them feel secure in themselves and within the family. Crucially, it also models respect for all women.

Boys will do better and do themselves justice if they distance themselves from ‘laddish’ culture, which tends to reject anything vaguely female or associated with women as weak and inferior.

If you are a parent:

* Don’t let your son walk all over you; boys won’t learn to respect women if you don’t respect yourself; taking time for you and maintaining house rules to protect your interests are marks of self-respect
* Earn his respect; if you don’t treat others, including absent parents, with due respect, he may lose his respect for you
* Be careful about the tone and content of your casual remarks when watching films or television; many swear words, for example, imply disrespect for others

If you are a teacher:

* Discuss with your colleague whether you might introduce a sexual harassment policy in your school; girls should, of course, be prepared to treat boys with the same respect they may wish to receive in return
* Gender awareness and equality of respect should apply throughout the whole school and every lesson

If we want to encourage boys to develop a more caring image of masculinity, we must show respect for women, including female teachers, and the particular strengths and qualities that women possess. Verbal or physical abuse and violence towards women, especially a boy’s mother, is often the single most damaging factor to a boy’s self-esteem, mental health and future success in life.

Related posts:

1. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Nurture His Self-Respect

2. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Respect His Feelings

3. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Respect His Teachers

4. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Respect His Right to Know

5. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Boys Do Best When an Involved Man Cares

6. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Support the School

7. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Be His Last Point of Refuge

8. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Offer Him Opportunities to Test Himself

9. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Let Him Say No

10. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Let Him Impress You