Feelings are fundamental; they make us who we are. Many parents find it hard to accept that their boys can be fearful and anxious. Men aren’t supposed to have those vulnerabilities, and the sooner a boy overcomes them, the sooner his parents can be reassured that their son is going to be a ‘real’ man, and also stop having to spend valuable time and energy dealing with those fears and feelings. Fear of the dark, water, spiders, losing friendships, failure, nightmares and bogeymen all seem irrational to parents and test their patience. They respond with rational arguments, but, for the boy, the fear may be purely emotional and, therefore, irrational.

If you are a parent:

* Respect his fears and anxieties
* Share his delights and disappointments
* Acknowledge and describe how he might be feeling, so that he develops a Vocabulary that will help him to understand his reactions
* Jealousy is natural, normal and acceptable, but it’s not acceptable to hurt anyone because of jealousy

If you are a teacher:

* As part of a literacy strategy, junior children can be given a ‘feelings’ book in which they can write how they felt about particular lessons, projects or homework
* Fear of failure explains a wide variety of behavior that obstructs learning; encourage boys to be open about fears
* At all ages, drama and role-play can allow both boys and girls to explore emotions ‘safely’
* Debates in mixed gender groups will enable boys to learn more about empathy
* Encourage them to explore emotions by reading literature

Whether it is delight or disappointment, fear or fury, joy or jealousy; boys are entitled to have their feelings acknowledged and respected by their parents and carers, just as girls are.

Related posts:

1. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Give His Feelings Space In Your World

2. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Fortify His Heart, Don’t Thicken His Skin

3. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Model Respect For Women

4. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Nurture His Self-Respect

5. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Respect His Teachers

6. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Respect His Right to Know

7. The Basics of Self-Esteem Tips For Boys: Explain Your Thoughts and Feelings

8. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Support the School

9. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Read and Learn Together

10. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Let Him Say No