Contrary to common belief, stress is not something suffered only by adults. In fact, children get a double dose, from events in their own lives, such as bullying, academic pressure and friendship problems, and from the knock-on effect of adult stress, because we all behave less skillfully towards children when we’re preoccupied by our own problems. Add to this the fear that a boy will have less experience of life and himself to trust that ‘normality’ will resume, and we can see that he is likely to get more confused and disorientated than adults, not less.

Stressful events that can destabilise a boy are those that involve separations from those close to him, and changes to his status and self-image or to the pattern of his life, in either routines or relationships.

If you are a parent:
* Spend more time with him, help to boost his self-esteem and ensure he gets plenty of sleep
* Take his worries and his view of what he’d like to happen seriously
* Keep him informed of changes and decisions, so he feels more In control, and maintain regular routines to bolster his security
* Giving emotional support to needy boys is tiring; get more rest so you feel more able to give

If you are a teacher:

* Brief yourself about and watch out for all the possible signs of distress in your students, including poor work, bad behavior, visits to the school nurse and truancy, and respond accordingly
* Try to find some time to talk to any boy who seems withdrawn and tired in class
* Talk to colleagues and contact the boy’s home if your worries continue
* Be aware that your own stress levels may make you less tolerant of challenging behavior

Signs that he may be feeling distressed about something include a prolonged sad and unhappy mood, becoming withdrawn disturbed sleep, being very tired, being unusually thirsty, tummy and other pains, aggression, stealing, poor concentration and inattention, and becoming more clingy.

Related posts:

1. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Support the School

2. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Find Good Support Groups

3. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Offer Him Safety, Security and Predictability

4. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Support and Encourage, Don’t Control and Push

5. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: What You Expect is What You Get

6. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Nurture His Social Skills

7. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Hear the Sound of Silence

8. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Don’t Make Approval Conditional on Good Behavior

9. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Identify the Danger Signs and Times

10. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Respect His Right to Know