Boys are growing up in a male culture that questions the value of social and academic success. No single person can change that culture. What we can do to encourage boys to believe that it’s cool to succeed, however, is strengthen the ties between home and school, and support each other.

If you are a parent:

* Avoid complaining about your son’s school in front of him, even if you’re unhappy with it
* Wherever possible, both parents should attend meetings about a boy’s progress in school; the absent parent should telephone his teacher for a summary
* Try to make time to watch him take part in school events; avoid saying: ‘Not another thing that school/club/you want me to do!’
* Attend fundraising events with your son so that he feels part of the school
* Help him gather/remember the things he’s been asked to bring to school

If you are a teacher:

* Let parents know when things are going well, not only when there may be problems, so that they can feel proud of their sons and therefore good about themselves
* Take parents’ worries seriously, and respond to their concerns with respect
* Avoid appearing to criticize a boy’s parents: ‘Didn’t your mum know you’d need sandwiches for today’s trip/check that you had everything?’
* Make parents’ evenings focus on what parents can do to help their boys set and achieve realistic, short-term targets in learning

If parents respect schools, and schools respect parents, there will be fewer cracks for boys to fall through, particularly during the earth-moving time of adolescence. Parents who distance themselves from their son’s school and its events not only create split loyalties, but also make it easier for boys to team up with the tearaways rather than the teachers.

Related posts:

1. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Respect His Teachers

2. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Model Respect For Women

3. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Find Good Support Groups

4. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Let Him Say No

5. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Identify the Danger Signs and Times

6. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Support and Encourage, Don’t Control and Push

7. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Support Him When He’s Stressed

8. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Read and Learn Together

9. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Minimize Conflicts At Home

10. The Basics of How to Parent Your Boys: Nurture His Self-Respect