It is impossible to consider all the feelings or emotions that people have and how they can be recognized and dealt with. Yet, the new Parent is likely to need some guidance on the subject.

In one way or another, verbally or nonverbally, many children receive parental messages such as “Don’t feel” or “Don’t let your feelings show.” Some children are encouraged to express their feelings, but others are not. They may be conditioned to be scared, yet not allowed to show it, with threats like “If you go on crying, I’ll really give you something to cry about.” Another way parents educate children about feelings is more subtle. They make statements such as “Big boys don’t cry” or “Nice girls don’t get angry.” These messages need to be updated with statements such as “Boys can cry sometimes; it’s natural” and “Girls do get angry sometimes, it’s natural.” All feelings are natural and need to be expressed and respected.

In response to being manipulated by parents, growing children learn to manipulate themselves and their feelings. In choosing whether to feel angry or sad, they may habitually choose how they felt in childhood. They may believe they have no choice except to be possessed by their negative feelings. However, feelings cannot possess anyone. Instead, people possess their feelings, and they have many choices about how to respond.

It is not unusual for children whose parent figures act hysterical or “crazy” to decide not to show any feelings. They may be afraid that they will go crazy if they let go. It is also common for people to block their tears, fearing that if they start crying, their tears will be seen as a mark of weakness or become a waterfall that never ends.

Many physical illnesses are created or made worse by negative feelings, by continuing stress, and by psychological problems. Psychotherapy may sometimes enhance a person’s health and wellness. Some indications for psychotherapy are intense anxiety, with sweating and faintness; sleep disturbance; substance abuse, including excessive use of alcohol; a sense of impending disaster; suspiciousness or fatigue when there seems to be no cause; obsessiveness; destructiveness to self, others, or property; loss of memory; inappropriate behavior or speech; apathy or impaired functioning. These symptoms, experienced at a fairly low level of intensity are fairly common. When the symptoms interfere with a sense of freedom and an active search for happiness, professional help is needed.

Related posts:

1. The basics of learning to be happy – fieldwork on parenting

2. The basics of creativity and logical thinking in learning to be happy

3. The basics of the four categories of emotions – mad, sad, scared, or happy

4. The basics of the three Ps in parent education of happiness

5. The basics of being happy – listening to self-talk

6. The basics of how good parenting makes their children happy by demonstrating love

7. The basics of parenting to help your children to be happy

8. Touchpoints of Learning to Handle Angry Feelings

9. The basics of the power of hope makes you happy

10. The Basics of Crying