The Basics of Personal Safety in Dating
ByIf you are under threat – spiking, drug-rape, or whatever – just go! Accept no courtesies or offers to drive you home. Get a taxi and go. Many victims of rape or violence have reported that they had a feeling something bad was going to happen, but were too embarrassed or self-conscious to act on their feelings. They say it’s like a sixth sense, a warning bell in your head. Should you experience this sensation, act on it and exit immediately.
If your date turns out to be a mistake — as often happens with blind dates — married, too old, too young, too other, more delicacy is required. For me, the direct but sympathetic approach is best. “This is not going to work out for me. Let’s finish our drinks and say goodbye. But I must caution you about being too hasty in your judgment because I know of some great relationships that got off to a pretty shaky start.
Some people fabricate exit strategies to terminate blind dates by going off to the restroom and using their mobile to phone a friend, asking them to ring back in a few minutes when they’re back with their date, feigning an emergency at home or at work. ‘My uncle’s dropped down dead!’ or ‘I’m an auxiliary fireman and my station needs me!’ If that is your preferred way of wimping out, fine, but I suggest this simply prolongs the awkwardness, the embarrassment and the hurt to the other party.
We’ve taken a precautionary trawl through the darker side of dating. The chances are that – other than the occasional disappointing date — none of these scenarios will happen to you. Do not let this chapter put you off going for gold in your quest for the ideal mate. It merely serves to remind you of the hazards of dating and to illustrate, by contrast, one of the major plusses of a secure and lasting relationship: trust in your partner.
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