Instead of celebrating, many successful people hide their successes. They refuse to celebrate and to feel happy, frequently using one of the following excuses: Their success is not really important and they may be ridiculed or ignored; their success will make someone jealous, and a friendship or work relationship may be harmed; they will be expected to perform still another task, and to perform it even more successfully; they are angry at someone or at a situation or even angry at the world; they fear it might take too much time away from their pursuit of other goals; they feel they do not deserve recognition and joy, either because they have failed in some other way or because “anything good that happens is just luck.”

Regardless of what excuse a person may use, avoiding celebration is a denial of the potential excitement of living. Feelings of happiness that well up from a person’s inner core deserve recognition.

Unfortunately, people often avoid celebrations because they have experienced a loss of energy. They feel so debilitated that they do not expect to enjoy celebrating. It is important to recognize that whether or not you will enjoy a celebration is often not a matter of energy, but a matter of choice.

Sometimes not enjoying a celebration is normal. When people are shocked by bad news or are seriously ill, celebrations become low priority. People often need and want to conserve energy to cope with the stress they are experiencing.

In some cases celebrations need to be postponed. Yet, at other times, just looking around to see how much there is in life to feel good about will provide the energy needed to celebrate.

Energy for celebrating may be especially low when traditions are too restrictive and act like a dam holding back energy. In many families and cultures there are laws or customs that spell out the details of celebrations. Like dams, customs may restrict the free flow of energy until pressure builds up and a break occurs.

In today’s world of increasing cross-cultural families and multicultural workplaces, if people from one culture hold on vociferously to the beliefs and lifestyles with which they grew up, they are likely to miss opportunities to discover other forms of happiness.

People experience a loss of energy when they are continually drained by the demands they put upon themselves or accept from others. They won’t say “no.” They habitually put others first, try to please everyone, and do more than their share of work. These people are likely to prepare too hard for a celebration and become so stressed out that they don’t enjoy it, or they don’t get enough rest before a celebration. Afterward, having met too many obligations, they feel drained.

They could choose to say “no” to some demands made upon them. They could work easy instead of hard. They could take more time to enjoy life and to avoid feeling drained. They could be assertive on behalf of themselves. A good new Parent would encourage this.

Anxiety lowers energy levels. Many events cause anxiety and doubt. Parties, in particular, seem to bring out high levels of stress and anxiety in some people. They may worry about their appearance, the refreshments, what the neighbors might think, or who to invite. Worrying unnecessarily depletes energy and often doesn’t leave us capable of enjoying ourselves.

The desire to be perfect is also energy depleting. People can choose. They can remind themselves that nothing has to be perfect. Joy is not based on perfection. It is based on being open to the wonders of the universe and to the wonders of relationships. A good new Parent will encourage this openness.

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3. What are some discovery tools for celebrating your success?

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